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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27768064">She Remembers the Fallen Snow</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PolarisBorealis/pseuds/PolarisBorealis'>PolarisBorealis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Undertale (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Medical Trauma, Multi, Self-Acceptance, Slow Burn, Temporary Character Death, Undertale Genocide Route, Undertale Pacifist Route, Undertale Saves and Resets</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:55:19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,340</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27768064</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PolarisBorealis/pseuds/PolarisBorealis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You took an oath as a doctor to protect the lives of the innocent. One horrible mistake led you up Mt. Ebbot to disappear as punishment. Now, you've found yourself in a world full of magic and monsters, one in particular being a skeleton who loves to make you smile.</p><p>Until you can set them free, you'll dance patiently among the winter trees with the skeleton in question. In the end, his laughter might be just what you needed to mend the pieces of your broken heart, and maybe along the way, you'll mend his too.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alphys/Undyne (Undertale), Asgore Dreemurr &amp; Toriel, Sans (Undertale)/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Flower Beneath the Mountain</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The forest around you dripped with dew as a passing breeze carried the scent of fresh mud with a hint of aged moss. It wound through your hair, pushing the frizzed locks delicately with just enough force to feel each threadlike strand brush up against your frozen cheeks. Moonlight glittered through gaps in the trees above, lighting the way ahead of you with a gentle glow that held no malice towards your intrusion. You weren’t quite sure what drew you up the mountains at such a late hour, but you continued to trek on silently, watching your step for roots and rocks that had not settled into the earth. The polite mountainside should have calmed you, but you were only filled with a deep sorrow, something that cut at your heart with every sharp breath you took. You know the cause, but you hate thinking about it. Remembering <em> that </em> day... you don’t know how much more you can take. Shaking your head vigorously, straining your neck uncomfortably with each twist, you carried on, blinking the wetness out of your eyes. You didn’t deserve to cry about it. You didn’t deserve to be here. There are so many other innocent beings on this planet that had the right to be sad, but your actions did not merit the same treatment.</p><p> </p><p>Oh... that is why you were up here, you realized solemnly.</p><p> </p><p>You came here to die.</p><p> </p><p>Despite coming to this realization, your heart tugged on, and you blindly followed. You did not want to commit suicide directly, and you did not consider this venture anything of the sort. Instead, you hoped by coming here, you could get lost and “die”, like those stories on the news. Rumors of children disappearing on Mt. Ebbot had simmered down as of late, but you still wondered if they were true. Stepping over decayed logs wrapped in twisting vines that burst with life, your feet took you towards a sharp incline in the side of the mountain. Your fingers dug into the moist earth, using it as leverage to hoist yourself upwards on all fours. This continued until the area leveled out, a happy clearing opening up to you. You pushed yourself up, examining the dirt under your nails and the stains on your jeans that would have bothered you in any other situation, but now just served as a reminder of the horrible being you were. The grass beneath your sneakers invited you to sit, and you would have kindly accepted the offer, but something else caught your attention. </p><p>You nervously inched forward, the blackness ahead beginning to fill up your vision. What you found shocked you into place, your feet locking into the dirt.</p><p>It was a hole. A monstrous, unfathomable hole. It resembled that of a black hole, the buttercups that lined the perimeter serving as the event horizon. Nature imitated cosmic phenomena in ways that brought you a strange kind of excitement, along with a nagging fear that bubbled up your throat. You leaned forwards slightly just to get a glimpse of the inside, searching for any sign of an end to the depths. Nothing but a void of emptiness that starkly contrasted the vibrant vegetation around you. </p><p>Turning your attention from the hole, you watched the dancing buttercups that littered the area. Oddly, you had only seen them in this exact spot. They only surrounded the hole in the mountain, scattering in large clusters while stemming out in some places. The hole really did feel like a black hole, but with the buttercups, it felt like you were looking at a gigantic sunflower. You leaned down into the field of flowers, running the tips of your fingers along the soft petals. You recalled the many visits to the hospital you worked at from children who had ingested buttercups, having to help pump them out. It wasn’t until you were 17 that you had found out buttercups could be lethal in large amounts, so why should a child know any better? You picked a buttercup from the ground, feeling it release its grip on the earth with a subtle pop. You examined it, rolling the stem between your fingers as you watched the flower spin rapidly like the blades of a ceiling fan. The color was gorgeous, and while buttercups typically had a mirror-like sheen to the lemon petals, after the recent rain shower, they seemed to glow even brighter than normal. You put the flower in your hair, hoping it complimented your features.</p><p>Your stomach rumbled quietly, as you hadn’t brought anything with you besides the clothes on your back. You turned around in place, squinting your eyes to search for some kind of food in the distance. You thought you saw a bush of wild berries, and you moved to examine them up close, only to find your foot was tightly wound to the ground. You lifted a brow questioningly at the root that hooked around the top of your foot, wondering how you hadn’t noticed it before. You pushed your foot backwards to free your shoe, and you gasped aloud as the root suddenly wound around your ankle. What the hell? That couldn’t be normal! The root tugged you roughly, sending you flying towards the floor. You screamed as you realized it was dragging you towards the hole in the ground, and you desperately clawed at the dirt hoping that something would save you.</p><p> </p><p>“HELP, HELP! <b> <em>SOMEBODY HELP ME</em> </b>!”</p><p> </p><p>With wide eyes, your head darted to look behind you. You cried out as your legs dangled in midair, dancing into the abyss below. The root had wound itself around your calf now, squeezing your jeans tightly in response to your struggle. You couldn't believe what was happening to you! You just couldn’t! Plants can’t move this quickly! To top things off, this plant seemed like it <b> <em>wanted</em> </b> you to fall!</p><p>With one last jerk, the root threw you into the hole, and you let out a final shriek of pure terror as the world above you was swallowed by black. Everything went still, and your own cries were drowned out by the deafening silence that filled your head. No owls rushing overhead, no coyotes yipping, no branches rustling in the breeze, no fresh midnight water dripping. The world was still as you spun around, head jerking your body to face the world that rapidly disappeared from view.</p><p>Your mortified eyes met with the milky midnight night sky, stars glittering, exploding and being reborn light years away. Your hair whipped around violently yet caressed your cheeks and ears in a gentle effort to save what little time you had left on this earth. Crystals stuck out sharp and deadly from all sides of the walls, old and sparkling in all different colors under the glow of night.</p><p> </p><p>You reached a hand out to the stars with a final cry for help.</p><p> </p><p>A sickening crack interrupted your fall as you hit the floor, velocity having been so extreme that you promptly bounced off the ground a few inches. Golden petals puffed up and surrounded you like a school of fish swimming around your broken body. Pollen formed into light clouds of yellow dust that floated carelessly, yet with annoyance at your sudden disturbance. The pretty allergens fluttered back down and covered your eyes and mouth. You were losing your grip on reality.</p><p> </p><p>Dark...</p><p>...Darker...</p><p>......But nobody came.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>A light glow from above settled over your quiet body, nudging you out of your slumber. Your eyelashes fluttered lightly, pupils enlarging to handle the sudden darkness that surrounded you. Your senses came back one by one, pain slowly settling into your aching bones, and with this pain, a flood of memories followed. You remembered exactly what had just happened.</p><p> </p><p>W-What the <b> <em>hell?</em> </b></p><p>
  <b>  </b>
</p><p>You wanted to scream again, but your throat refused to make a sound. The events leading up to this moment made absolutely no sense. A plant chucking you into an abyss? It seemed impossible, yet you swore that is exactly what just happened. You blinked in disbelief, turning your head to the side to scout the area. Nothing was there to greet you, nothing except the grass and buttercups under your body and the walls around you. This couldn’t just be some random hole. It was perfectly cut and deep, so there must have been some kind of purpose for this. There was more to it, there had to be!</p><p>You slowly pushed your body up into a sitting position, marveling at the fact that you were even alive to begin with. You could barely see the exit far above, and you realized it was still night. Or were those clouds blocking the sun? Was it the same day? How long had you been out? Thoughts swirled through your mind, and you gripped the sides of your head to ground yourself. You would be fine, everything was going to be fine. Maybe someone would come looking for you! The doctors at the hospital, they must have noticed your absence! Someone, anyone…</p><p> </p><p>Nobody was coming for you. You were all alone, sitting in your own grave.</p><p> </p><p>The first of many drops of water landed on your nose, sprinkling on your eyelashes, and stinging red elbows. As time passed, the rain worsened, droplets becoming larger. Soon, you were being showered with heavy, sweet, refreshing rain, unable to distinguish the freshwater from your own salty tears as they mixed and dripped from the tip of your chin. You wept in silence. Nobody would find you here. But you deserved this, didn’t you? After what you did? You came here to get lost, and lost you were. You don’t deserve to be saved. You don’t <b> <em>want</em> </b> to be saved. At this thought, you finally let out your first broken sob that stung your throat. Your cries and wails grew so loud that they echoed off the walls and bounced back, shaking your very soul. You felt everything at once, and then the pain died down into sniffles masked by thunder. The rain picked up, growing so heavy it began to bruise your skin like thousands of tiny bullets. As your body began to numb from the mixture of all these raging emotions and physical blows, your eyes were drawn to the one thing that stood out against the murky world your brain was realizing.</p><p> </p><p>Yellow.</p><p> </p><p>You plucked a buttercup from the soaked grass, bringing it gently to your eye level. It glittered with rain and reflected the colors each gemstone cast over you. The rain had let up significantly at this point, so you glanced up from where you fell, weighing your options. Focusing your attention back on the beauty cradled in your palms, you brought it closer to your bruised lips. Maybe if you just ate a few, you could finally have peace. You were already well over six feet under...</p><p> </p><p>You opened your mouth and went to place the flower on your waiting tongue like a slice of warm cake.</p><p> </p><p>“Howdy!”</p><p> </p><p>You bit your tongue in shock at the voice, sending a burst of pain through your jaw and up to your head. Dropping the flower, your hands shot up to cover your mouth as you nearly gave yourself whiplash trying to find the source of the voice. Nobody was around. Were you finally going crazy?</p><p> </p><p>“Down here! Behind you!”</p><p> </p><p>You turned around, looking down as requested. Your eyes nearly boggled out of your sockets at the sight before you. A literal talking flower, a buttercup to be exact, was bobbing from side to side in front of your very eyes. He was at a distance away from the buttercup patch you currently laid in, and you found yourself at a loss for words. Surely you were hallucinating. Buttercups don’t talk, nor do they have cartoonish faces.</p><p> </p><p>“Well? Arent’cha gonna say something? Come a little closer!”</p><p> </p><p>Hesitantly, you crawled across the buttercups until your hands felt the solid, cool rock on the smoothed path in front of you. You became pointedly aware that some of your ribs had bruised and your ankle had definitely seen better days, but surprisingly, you hadn’t broken any bones in your fall. You stopped in front of the flower, now sitting crisscross only a few feet from him. He was smiling kindly, yet something about him felt… off.</p><p> </p><p>“Um, hello?” You quirked your head to the side, still not truly processing that this talking flower was actually sentient. He looked very much real, especially up close. At the sound of your voice, he smiled just a little wider, toothy grin throwing you off.</p><p> </p><p>“Man, that really looks like some fall! Who’re you?”</p><p>“...(Y/N).”</p><p>“Well it sure is nice ta meet'cha, (Y/N)! My name is Flowey! Flowey the flower. You’re not exactly who I was expecting, but this is just <b> <em>too interesting</em> </b> to pass up!”</p><p> </p><p>Not who he was expecting? What did he mean by that? Had he thought a different person would fall? How would he even know? You had so many questions, yet you had a feeling Flowey wouldn’t answer any of them. You fell silent once more, still in disbelief. Flowey seemed to be growing impatient at your lack of conversation if the strain in his wide grin was anything to go by.</p><p> </p><p>“...Anyway... you’re new to the Underground, arent’cha? Guess little ol’ me will have to teach you how things work around here!” The Underground? Why did this speech sound… rehearsed? Your suspicions of this jovial little buttercup spiked, defenses on high alert. Something wasn’t right here.</p><p>“What are you talking about, Flowey?”</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“You said we were in the Underground. What... what do you mean?”</p><p>“You mean you don’t know? Don’t tell me you humans have forgotten about us... there’s no way!”</p><p>“...Us?”</p><p>“Yes, us! Us monsters! The mountain! Don’t play dumb with me!” His cheery façade seemed to be slipping, hints of irritation bleeding into his voice. You seriously had no idea what he was talking about. The gears in your head were turning, and you fell into your usual state of curiosity.</p><p> </p><p>“From what I’m gathering, you’re a monster and there’s more of you living down here. I apologize, but I can assure you that humans are unaware of your existence. At least, most of us must are. Has... has the government been hiding you from us? I mean, there have been rumors about children going missing at Mt. Ebbot, but I didn’t think they were seriously true.”</p><p> </p><p>Flowey looked at you with a mix of confusion and distaste. His smile fell with each passing moment until he was outright frowning, scrutinizing you. All you could do was blink owlishly back.</p><p> </p><p>“I can’t believe this. You’re seriously telling me you know nothing? Frisk always knew! How’d they get replaced with such a dumb human?!” Now you were seriously confused. Who was Frisk? There were so many questions eating at your brain. Your words died out, as did Flowey’s. It was clear that neither of you had a clue what was going on, but for very different reasons. Your little trip up the mountain to disappear had given you more than you bargained for. Never in your wildest dreams did you think this of all things would happen. First, you fall into a mountain and miraculously survive relatively unscathed. Then, you’re greeted by a living, breathing, sarcastic flower. What’s next? Skeletons are alive and magic is real?</p><p> </p><p>“...This is going nowhere.” If Flowey had hands, he would no doubt be face-palming right now. Actually... nevermind. He lifted one of his leaves up and dragged it down his face, pulling his eyes and mouth down into a frown as he let out a deep sigh. He face-palmed without hands. You weren’t surprised in the slightest at the irony of it all.</p><p>“Indeed. I don’t think it is.”</p><p>“Then why don’t we pick up where I started. I was just going to explain how the Underground works to you, since you’re obviously so dimwitted.” Yup, the real Flowey was definitely showing himself. Why he had ever put up that fake pleasant front, you’d never know. You shrugged and rested your chin on your hands, lifting an eyebrow.</p><p>“Sure. Fire away, weed.”</p><p>“W-Weed?!” You snickered at his reaction to the nickname, a strange fondness settling in your chest. Something about him made you want to know more. He could hardly be considered even an acquaintance, especially considering the now murderous intent now flowing off of him, but... maybe with time you’d get to know the guy. You did seem to be stuck down here after all.</p><p>“You heard me. If you’re going to call me a dimwit, then you’ll get equal treatment.”</p><p>“Ugh, fine! Let’s just get this over with. I’m already sick of you!”</p><p> </p><p>You weren’t sure what you were expecting, but it certainly wasn’t what came next. Your head fell from your hands as you were suddenly lurched forward by an unknown force. Your chest felt uncomfortably tight, and something seemed to be fighting against your sternum. A sharp, pained intake of breath escaped you, and with one final tug, the pain in your chest was set free.</p><p> </p><p>Cyan.</p><p> </p><p>In front of you, a literal floating, three-dimensional cartoon heart bobbed up and down slightly. It was very dull, but you could still see that the heart was cyan. The color looked muddied and faded, which you didn't think was healthy, but what really shocked you was the large crack that nearly split the heart in half. It was filled with a thick inky black color, a blackness so dark you weren’t sure if you should even call it black. It was unnerving to say the least... and yet... something told you the blackness wasn’t just coincidental.</p><p> </p><p>“What the hell?!”</p><p> </p><p>You looked around the cyan heart to see Flowey’s face, which was fixed into nothing less than pure horror. You hadn’t noticed before, too transfixed on the little heart, but all the colors in the world around you had bled into nothing but black and white. The only thing you could make out in the blackness was Flowey, who looked mortified at the sight of the heart. Not even a moment later, the heart in front of you shook violently with a palpable fear and flung itself into your chest, knocking the wind out of you while physically sending you leaning back on your hands. All the blackness in the world faded away as the familiar hues of the cave fell back into place, yet Flowey was still unmoving. You held a gentle hand to your sternum, trying to bite back the dull pain that blossomed underneath.</p><p> </p><p>“What just happened? What... what’s going on?” You could only gape at the space where the cyan heart just stood, your brain now absolutely fried. You could usually pick up on new things quickly, and you pride yourself on being able to adapt to any high-stress situations... but this?! There was no way anything could top it! You had been flung into a whole new world! What were you supposed to do? How could you even make sense of this?</p><p>“Your SOUL... what did you do to it?”</p><p>“My soul?”</p><p>“Yes, idiot! Your SOUL! The very culmination of your being! That fucked up heart! That was your SOUL!”</p><p>“Souls aren’t real, Flowey. They’re just concepts. You can’t really expect me to believe that... that heart... was my...” Oh, God. He was actually serious. That was your soul. Souls are real. If that’s the case then... “Why is it cracked?”</p><p>“Who fucking knows! I’ve never... you should be <em>dead!”</em> You nearly choked on your spit, now sitting up straight as a board.</p><p>“Dead?!”</p><p>“Did you not even see your HP?! Just what are you? That thing should’ve shattered a long time ago!”</p><p>“HP?! What the hell are you talking about?! This isn’t some video game!”</p><p>“I’m not talking about games, idiot! I’m talking about your HoPe!”</p><p>“Hope?! You’re making even less sense than before!”</p><p><strong><em>“SHUT UP!”</em></strong> Flowey’s voice suddenly dropped, a gravelly, distorted hum still biting the air from his outburst. Much to your shock, his face seemed to physically glitch. Anger fitted over his features, furrowed brows and a demonic scowl shocking you into place. He kept talking, voice continuing to distort into highs and lows that seemed impossible for one person to switch between so quickly. “Shut! Up! <strong>You insolent fool!</strong> I had so much hope for you! I thought you’d make a great partner, with you being an adult that probably has more physical strength than that<em> child,</em> but you’re nothing but a useless, <em>weak,</em> <strong><em>pathetic shell!</em></strong> Maybe killing you will force a reset! After all, in this world, <strong><em>it’s kill or be killed!”</em></strong></p><p> </p><p>Killing you...</p><p> </p><p>You didn’t even react to his words, still watching him with a strange look of amusement and confusion. He was so full of hate, you should be terrified, and yet he gave off the energy of a child throwing a temper tantrum.</p><p> </p><p>“Why aren’t you scared?! Why aren’t you fighting back?! I literally threatened your life!” You considered his words carefully. Why <em> weren’t </em> you scared? Well, that much was obvious to you. You straightened yourself and brushed the dirt off your hands, your eyes dulling a bit as you spoke.</p><p>“Well, for starters, I’m okay with dying. Also, I can tell you don’t actually mean it.”</p><p>“H-Huh?” Flowey stuttered, face glitching back to normal. He couldn’t decide whether to be annoyed or concerned at this point. You giggled hollowly and resumed your original position, hands resting on the palms of your upturned hands as your elbows rested on your knees. Flowey watched you warily, and you made no move to pose any threat.</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t fight you. If you want to kill me so bad, then please, be my guest. I’ll wait. It’s your choice.”</p><p> </p><p>Several minutes passed in pure silence. Flowey gaped at you with a slightly opened mouth, and you softly smiled back at him. Something seemed to click in his head, and he scoffed, gaze drifting towards the ground.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re really a PATIENCE SOUL through and through.”</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“Your SOUL. It was cyan.”</p><p>“Does that mean something?”</p><p>“It means your main SOUL trait is PATIENCE. It’s your gut instinct in response to anything. You always act with PATIENCE before anything else.” Flowey seemed... calmer. He was even being helpful for once. His expression wasn’t so angry. Instead, it had turned into one of annoyance that a frenemy might sport. You took note of this shift in behavior. Perhaps your judgement was right. He was just a misunderstood child throwing a tantrum.</p><p>“I suppose you’re right. I hadn’t really noticed before.”</p><p>“You know, you’re an idiot on so many levels.” You couldn’t help the smile that stretched across your face at his grumbling insults.</p><p>“As I’ve heard. You’re not so smart yourself, weed.”</p><p>“Quit calling me that!”</p><p>“In this world, it’s insult and be insulted. Equal treatment.”</p><p>“Hey, that’s my line! You just... ugh! I can’t figure you out! You’re almost as unreadable as that stupid smiley trash bag!” Flowey huffed, obviously exasperated. You weren’t sure who ‘smiley trash bag’ was, nor did you know anyone named Frisk, but these two individuals really seemed to ruffle his petals. You chuckled and held out a hand, which Flowey watched closely.</p><p>“Relax. I’m not gonna pick you. I just think we got off on the wrong foot. My name is (Y/N). I’m a human woman. And you?” Flowey’s eyes darted between your sweet smile and your outstretched hand, an internal battle raging within him. He wanted so badly to shove a bullet in your SOUL, but you were such an idiot! As smart and calm-spoken as you were, you were so careless! There’s no way you could have missed how absolutely murderous he was, so why...</p><p> </p><p>Why were you being so nice to him?</p><p> </p><p>He looked at his right leaf, scrutinizing it. He didn’t want to shake your hand. Everything in him was screaming at him, telling him not to be so weak. And yet, he found himself stretching out his leaf, pressing it gingerly across your palm. Your sugary smile almost made him gag, and you gently shook his ‘hand’ by using your index and thumb.</p><p> </p><p>“...Flowey. The flower. Like I said.”</p><p>“It’s nice to meet you, Flowey.”</p><p>“This doesn’t mean we’re friends, by the way! Far from it! I hate you with every ounce of my being!”</p><p>“Wouldn’t dream of anything else.”</p><p> </p><p>The echoing sound of a door creaking open in the distance made you perk up, moving to stand on shaky legs. Flowey seemed fearful of the noise, and he turned to look up at you, biting a whisper.</p><p> </p><p><em>“Hey! Whatever you do, don’t tell anyone else about me, okay?! I seriously mean it!”</em> He wanted to be a secret? You could do that. You always kept your secrets.</p><p>“You got it, weed. Not a peep.”</p><p> </p><p>With that, Flowey suddenly disappeared into the ground. The rock was perfectly smooth where he once stood, like he had never been there in the first place. You wondered how he did that, and you were curious as to why he wanted to hide at all, but your thoughts were halted by the sound of soft footsteps approaching your spot in the cave.</p><p> </p><p>From out of the shadows, a being of pure elegance and motherhood emerged, making your heart stop for a breath. A powder-white bipedal goat wearing a long pale lavender dress towered before you. If you could guess, she was nearly eight feet tall alone. Her dress was hemmed with white lace that danced around the edges of her sleeves and the bottom of her skirt, which never quite touched the floor and instead brushed over the tops of her fuzzy feet as she walked. She took one look at you with warm mahogany eyes and gasped, large paws moving up to cover her muzzle.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, my! What are you doing down here, my child? Did you fall from above? That looks like quite a ways down!” Her voice was sweet like sugar, yet her size added a bassy hum to it. She struck you as the kind of primary school teacher you wished you had growing up, whose tone demanded attention yet did not strike fear.</p><p>“I did fall, yes. I am fine. T-Thank you for your concern…” You folded your hands neatly in front of you, not used to being worried over. It felt undeserved. No, it <em> was </em> undeserved.</p><p>“Are you certain? Please, come with me. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Toriel! I am caretaker of the Ruins, which is just up ahead. Won’t you join me?”</p><p>“Of course. Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>Walking beside her, your smaller legs had to move much faster to match her graceful strides. She led you to the door you heard earlier, which was so large you couldn’t fathom being able to budge it open on your own. It was grand and decorated with accents of pure gold, bearing the same symbol Toriel wore on her dress. She pushed through with ease, revealing a sight you’d only imagine in a fairy tale.</p><p> </p><p>The room was vast and spacious, bathed in a lighter lavender than Toriel’s dress. All the rocks had a purple hue to them, which had been carved out and excavated in what you now understood was going to become a complex cave system. There were crisp orange autumn leaves scattered in piles along the walls, and they bunched up at the edges of two winding staircases that had been expertly smoothed into the rock. Looking up, your heart fluttered. Above you shone a gorgeous domed stained glass ceiling. You had no idea how, but light was shining through, probably from the surface. The clouds up above had cleared since the rainfall earlier, and now gorgeous rainbow colors shot around the room, glittering and slightly shifting as the sun made its way up for sunrise. Vines wound up the walls in various cracks in the wall, and neat stacks of aged purple brick made up the walls to your sides.</p><p> </p><p>“My child? Why are you crying?”</p><p> </p><p>From atop the staircase, standing in front of an opening to another hallway, Toriel watched you with concern. You raised your fingertips to your eyes and sure enough, wetness dripped between your hands. You could only blink, leaning your head back to watch the stained glass dome above you.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s nothing. I just need a moment.”</p><p>“Well, if you insist. I’ll be just up ahead, so take your time.”</p><p> </p><p>You didn’t move to watch Toriel leave, instead watching the colors continue to drift around the room. It was mesmerizing. Since it didn’t seem you’d be dying anytime soon, you tried to memorize this place’s location so you could return. If every room was like this, then you’d have no problem living here, for however long you had left.</p><p> </p><p>You turned to make your way up the stairs when another strange sight caught your eye. Between the space where the stairs met, in the middle of a giant leaf pile, twinkled a bright golden four pointed star. It seemed to be dancing, points flexing outwards in different patterns to beckon you closer. Your curiosity got the better of you, and you slowly advanced through the crunchy leaves, afraid the star would disappear if you approached too quickly. Now standing directly in front of it, the rainbow glow of the room seemed to shine everywhere but the star. It almost felt… wrong. Ominous. Like this star held secrets beyond your control.</p><p> </p><p>You reached out to touch it...</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> *Ping!* </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>*You have no DETERMINATION.</em> </b>
</p><p>
  <b>  </b>
</p><p>The words were clear as day in your head, yet nobody said a thing. You didn’t even hear a voice, yet you knew deep in your soul that the star had just said this to you.</p><p> </p><p>“No... determination? If I had determination... what could you do for me?”</p><p> </p><p>The star did not respond, continuing to twinkle teasingly. You decided to ask Toriel, backing away to make your way up the staircase. Once last glance at the star sent a shiver down your spine, and for once... you decided not to pursue this curiosity right away. You turned away pointedly and made your way down the purple hallway, which opened up to a small room that had several switches on the floor. Toriel was nowhere to be found in this room, so you advanced. The next room was much more spacious than the previous. The walls were lined with purple brick once more, vines still twisting through the aged cracks. There were two small streams of clear blue water running across the width of the room, which could be crossed by walking over two wooden bridges. Toriel was crouched in front of a golden lever, holding a vibrant red marker that just seemed like a crayon in her large paws. She was drawing arrows on the wall, and when she spotted you, she brightened significantly, quickly making her way over to you.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah! You’ve returned! Are you sure you’re alright?”</p><p>“Yes, absolutely. That room was just breathtaking.”</p><p>“I can see why you’d say that. There are many places in the Underground that might spark that same wonder I saw in your eye. Now, my child, I have some things to show you! The room with the switches on the floor, well, I was going to show you an example of how the Underground works, but I decided to solve the puzzle for you.”</p><p>“It was a puzzle?”</p><p>“Yes! The Ruins especially are littered with puzzles! They are quite simple, but for your convenience, I just thought I’d go ahead and take care of them for you. You seem to be old enough to be able to figure them out.”</p><p>“Yes. I am an adult, after all.”</p><p>“Oh! You are? My goodness, I apologize for calling you a child!” She seemed to be very worried that she’d offended you, but honestly…</p><p>“It’s alright. I... I don’t mind you calling me that.”</p><p>“You don’t? Does your mother not call you those names? I’m sure it must be strange hearing it from some old monster you’ve just met.”</p><p>“Ah... no... she...” You didn’t know how to tell her your predicament, but she seemed to get the picture at your floundering, laying a paw on your back to guide you forward.</p><p>“Nevermind that, then. I will not dig up old memories. Now, I only included the marker just in case a child were to fall down and I am not around to help them with the puzzles. If you’d be a dear, would you please pull that lever?”</p><p> </p><p>Grateful she didn’t pry about your family, you did as asked. A row of spikes at the end of the room lowered at your action, and she applauded you, guiding you forward into a very small room that had a doorway immediately to your left.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah! One more thing. Please, come here.”</p><p>Toriel stopped in front of a... dummy. You raised an eyebrow. It looked like it was made out of burlap, yet stuffed with cotton. It almost reminded you vaguely of a dog or a mannequin, but other than that you had no idea what Toriel was getting at. Sensing your confusion, she continued.</p><p> </p><p>“As you move through the Underground, you’ll encounter monsters. I’ll explain the circumstances you’re in to you later, but for now, just know that some monsters may want to start a battle with you.”</p><p>“A battle? As in, a fight? To bring harm?”</p><p>“Yes, unfortunately. However, there is no need to fear. You do not have to fight them back! You seem to have a way with your words, so I encourage you to strike up a friendly conversation instead! They do not mean to hurt you. It is more out of fear and self-defense than anger.”</p><p>“Alright. I trust you.”</p><p>“Then why not practice on this dummy? Try and ACT instead of FIGHT.”</p><p> </p><p>You supposed she just wanted you to talk to the dummy, so you stood in front of it, opening your mouth to speak. Instead, you cringed harshly as the same pain in your sternum returned. You were jerked forward, and your cyan blue soul popped into view, albeit with more resistance. The purple walls surrounding you bled into nothing, dripping away until everything was black and white. The dummy must be sentient. It had to have started a real encounter.</p><p> </p><p>“O-Oh my...” You turned to Toriel to ask what was wrong, only to see her fixated on your SOUL. It trembled, as did you, and you had to take deep breaths to keep up the strain of being in an encounter.</p><p>“A-Ahh... I-It’s alright. Now, uh... I just...” You turned to the dummy, trying to ignore the tears gathering in Toriel’s eyes. “I... There’s no r-reason to fight! Y-You’d win, anyways... Ha Ha...”</p><p> </p><p>The dummy didn’t move, but you could feel a wave of emotion flowing from the being in front of you.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> *Ping!* </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em> *The dummy doesn’t seem much for conversation, but is concerned about you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> *It seems reluctant to fight you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> *...Maybe you should rest. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>The dummy disappeared, leaving the room altogether.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> *YOU WON! </em>
</p><p>
  <em> *You earned 0 EXP and 0 gold. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>You fell backwards from the force of your SOUL slamming back into your chest, all the color in the room disorienting you. Toriel was at your side in a heartbeat, paws helping you stand. She didn’t seem to know where to start, so she started with the most obvious issue.</p><p> </p><p>“My child, your SOUL...”</p><p>“Y-Yeah... about that...”</p><p>“I am so sorry.”</p><p>“What do you think is wrong with it?” She sucked in a breath, turning to look at the wall as she fiddled with the sleeves of her dress. She must know more about souls than you or Flowey combined. Maybe she had some kind of answer.</p><p> </p><p>“I... I am not sure. This isn’t something I have ever seen before, even considering my age. It is rather startling the condition of your SOUL, yet... you seem so calm.”</p><p>“I don’t want to worry about it. I am sure whatever is wrong with it will heal with time.”</p><p>“I want to agree with you, but something about this doesn’t feel right. There is... I don’t wish to startle you, but... I am not sure how to say this...”</p><p> </p><p>You remembered what Flowey told you earlier, about how you should be dead. She must not know how to break the ‘bad’ news.</p><p> </p><p>“Please, don’t worry. I know what you’re trying to say. Thank you for your concern, but really, it is alright.” She seemed appalled by your response, your obvious lack of care for your wellbeing becoming obvious. She hurried over to you, paws fluttering over your person as she tried to calm herself.</p><p>“My child, it can’t be alright! You could shatter at any moment! I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you... I want to help you. That’s all.”</p><p>“Really, please, I am fine. Why don’t we keep going?”</p><p>“Y-Yes, if you insist.”</p><p> </p><p>You really hated yourself for making her feel bad. You hadn’t intended to do that. You just had such a low will to live that you didn’t see what the issue was. That just made you hate yourself more, another addition to your list of poor qualities. Regardless, Toriel gave you a tour of the Ruins. She was very soft spoken, much like yourself, except her words always held some air of grace and firmness to them. You just had trouble speaking louder than a whisper, and despite being well mannered in English, you just couldn’t compare to her. She was so strong and captivating. You wished you weren’t so weak. You couldn’t even hold a candle flame to her radiance.</p><p> </p><p>The entire trip, she seemed to be very watchful of her surroundings. She had said earlier that she trusted you as an adult to not get hurt, as she did not underestimate your intelligence regarding the puzzles in the Ruins, but she had become extra wary after seeing your soul. Didn’t she say that you’d be getting into encounters with other monsters? You hadn’t seen any. It was almost as if she was scaring them off. You weren’t sure if you should be thankful for the care or hurt that she wasn’t letting you meet anyone new.</p><p> </p><p>Toriel led you to a wide open area where a beautifully mysterious tree was rooted in the center, more orange autumn leaves surrounding the base. It looked like something out of a Halloween movie, bark made of pure black as the dead branches twisted around like spider legs. Was the tree even dead? Besides that, just beyond the tree, you saw a quaint little purple brick house. It made your heart clench painfully at the cuteness. It wasn’t as grand compared to some of the elegant doors and rooms you had passed through earlier, but it was very fitting for a motherly figure like her. Something caught your eye, and you nearly gasped at the sight of the same four pointed star from earlier dancing in front of Toriel's home. It almost seemed like it was laughing as your uselessness. Toriel didn't pay it any mind, and you wondered if she could even see it.</p><p> </p><p>“Please, dear, come inside. This is my home, and you may stay here as well. Actually, I firmly insist you live here with me! If... if that is alright with you...” She turned to you with a hopeful yet nervous smile, and you decided to squash those nerves by reaching out to grab her paw. She looked startled at your forwardness, as you were usually more reserved.</p><p> </p><p>“I would like nothing more.”</p><p> </p><p>Toriel’s house was exactly what you expected from the outside. As soon as she opened the doors, you were hit with the lingering smell of baked goods. Cinnamon sticks and butterscotch to be exact. It made your stomach rumble, and your cheeks lit up in embarrassment.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh! Are you hungry? Of course you are! You poor girl, you’ve been through so much today. You must be exhausted! Here, let me show you to your room first.” She grabbed your hand again and led you down a sweet hall, the pale yellow of the walls soothing you. Stopping at the first door, she released your hand and pushed you into the room, smiling warmly.</p><p>“You may sleep here! This will be your room for as long as you’d like. Please, feel free to take a nap. I am going to make us dinner. Is butterscotch cinnamon pie alright for dessert? I hope you don’t have any allergies.”</p><p>“That sounds wonderful. Please, don’t overwork yourself. It’s not worth it for someone like me.”</p><p>“You are worth it. Do not think so low of yourself, dear. Now, please make yourself at home.”</p><p> </p><p>With that, she closed the door, leaving you with nothing but your thoughts. The room itself was very cozy, though it was furnished more for a child than an adult. One look in the closet confirmed your suspicions. There were children's clothes and many striped shirts inside, among boxes of toys that had a fine layer of dust over them. When was the last time this room had been lived in? Better yet...</p><p> </p><p>Why did Toriel have an empty room for a child?</p><p> </p><p>It seems you aren’t the only one with baggage.</p><p> </p><p>Letting out a sigh, you laid down on the bed, which was luckily a good size for you. If this child’s bed is big enough for a grown human woman, you wondered what adult monster furniture looked like. You let the events of the day wash over you, pushing all your problems down like you’ve always done.</p><p> </p><p>It’s better this way. Thinking about it will only cause pain. You weren't sure if you'd ever be ready to confront your demons.</p><p> </p><p>Sleep found you within seconds, the sounds of Toriel clattering around kitchenware as she hummed an unknown tune lulling you into an uncomfortable darkness.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Knock, Knock</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A young girl sat at her parent’s kitchen table, her favorite book held down against the mahogany with delicate fingers. You were entranced by the words, trying to keep your eyes from drifting to the pictures in excitement as you read through the captions. Across the pages were painted depictions of stars, planets, and constellations, the mysteries of the galaxy being explained from this scientist’s point of view. With so little known about the universe, you had to fact check all your sources, and even then most of these writings were just theories about how the anomalies in your ever expanding universe functioned or appeared. Currently, you were fixated on a chapter that talked about Andromeda, a barred spiral galaxy not as far away as one might think. In fact, the Milky Way itself was hurtling towards Andromeda at incredible speeds, on course for collision in about 4.5 billion years. Oh how you wished you could see the day, wake up to find out your dreams were finally being realized. You didn’t care if the collision killed you. Seeing planets that close to Earth would leave you speechless. At that thought, 770 kiloparsecs suddenly seemed too far.</p><p> </p><p>Your mother swirled a glass of white wine in her hand nearby, watching you with a scrutinizing eye. It was a warm Saturday afternoon and she had foolishly promised you that if you finished your homework early and <em>correctly,</em> she would allow you to read that childish book of yours. She briefly debated ripping the damned thing out of your hands and sending you to your room to do work for next week, but she thought that would start too much drama. With her busy schedule, the last thing she needed was her middle schooled daughter not focusing on her advanced classes because she didn’t get to delve into her hobbies once in a while. In fact, holding that book over your head every week gave you an incentive to do well in school. Why couldn’t you just be diligent on your own?</p><p> </p><p>“This is a waste of time.” Her voice was hollow. You hummed softly under your breath, not responding. She acted like this every week. Saturday evening she’d always take away your book, telling you that if you made perfect grades, you could have it back next Saturday afternoon. This was your seventeenth time reading this one, but you couldn’t get enough. You’d gladly do anything she told you as long as she gave it back for a few hours.</p><p> </p><p>The garage door opened and closed, your dad hurrying inside with his briefcase. He hung his white coat on a hook he had screwed into the wall, brushing off his mint green scrubs. He was a surgeon at the local hospital, as was your mother. She only had more time off during the day because she was responsible for taking you to school, but when the evening hit, she would be gone again until morning. It was the same cycle every day, your dad working the day shift while your mother covered for him during the night. You wondered why they put themselves through this. Working at the hospital barely gave them enough time to sleep, as your mom would often come home drained and pass out on the couch or stay awake for 24 hours straight. Why would they want a job that made them so unhappy? Well, that much was obvious to you at this point.</p><p> </p><p>“Honey, put that thing away. The stars aren’t going to make you money.” Your dad called from the living room. You didn’t even spare him a glance. Your mother rubbed the bags under her eyes, taking another sip of her wine.</p><p>“That’s what I keep telling her. She won’t listen.”</p><p>“She’ll realize soon enough. Money is everything in this world. I mean, look at all the nice things we have! (Y/N), you’ll never live like this without a good job.”</p><p> </p><p>You didn’t care about money.</p><p> </p><p>You lived in a very nice house at the top of a gated neighborhood in Ebbot city. You had wealthy neighbors, all of which were doctors of some sort, who were raising their children to do the same. Despite your parent’s wealth, you never asked for a penny. Their money belonged to them, and you didn’t want any part in their greed. You wanted to pursue astronomy or astrophysics, but you could never tell them such a thing. They’d kick you out faster than you could blink.</p><p> </p><p>Your parents approached the kitchen table, giving each other a firm look. They needed to nip this little fantasy of yours in the bud.</p><p> </p><p>“(Y/N),” Your mother richly spoke. She pulled out a coaster from a silver tray and placed her glass neatly on top. She didn’t want to ruin the wood. “We have something we’d like to say.”</p><p> </p><p>You looked up from your book, easily remembering your page before shutting it closed. You patiently waited, watching their expressions. Your father cleared his throat, giving you a strange smile. Something was coming. This was planned. He reached out to touch the beautiful matte midnight blue cover of your book, sliding it towards him. He pulled a different book out of his briefcase, one you were unfamiliar with. It was plain white and smelled of citrus and bleach. You read the title, a deep sinking feeling settling into your stomach.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Medical Terminology for Future Health Professionals.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“We want you to become a doctor.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>You gasped, shuddering awake as a sharp pain in your sternum forced you up. Clutching desperately at your sweaty shirt, you heaved several long breaths, trying to force yourself to calm. This happened to you every night. Why did it hurt so much this time? The dream itself wasn’t even terrifying, just a memory from your childhood. Sure, it was a painful one, but it couldn’t be that big of a deal, right?</p><p> </p><p>But it was. That was the day your future was decided. The day your dream was stolen.</p><p> </p><p>If they hadn’t forced your path... maybe...</p><p> </p><p>Maybe none of this would have ever happened.</p><p> </p><p>You sighed, forcing your legs off the side of the bed. The carpet felt warm underneath your chilled feet, and you sucked your tears down like usual. Get over it. You’re a mistake. Smacking the side of your face harshly, you shook off the pain in your soul and blearily blinked your eyes. It was dark in your room, and though you had no sense of time down in the Underground, your internal clock told you it was late. Someone, presumably Toriel, had come into your room to turn off the lights. Stretching your arms over your head while trying to ignore the soreness in your ribs, you glanced around the room.</p><p> </p><p>Sitting in the center of the room was a plate. You couldn’t see very well from where you were sitting, so you shifted to kneel on the floor in front of it. Cinnamon sticks invaded your nose. It was a slice of pie, a plain silver fork sitting on the white ceramic dish. Your stomach growled in anger, so you picked up the plate delicately and sat against the foot of the bed, bringing your knees up to your chest. The plate was cold and so was the pie, but that's alright. You wondered how long it had been sitting there.</p><p> </p><p>A burst of flavor hit your tongue at the first bite, making you moan in pleasure. You’d always had a bad sweet tooth, not that your parents ever let you eat sweets. Part of you feared that your father would kick down the door any moment and replace your pie with kale or one of his gross superfoods. You internally flipped him off and relaxed your tense muscles, eating the pie in silence. You could allow yourself just one guilty pleasure.</p><p> </p><p>When the plate had thoroughly been licked clean, you stood up, creeping out of the room. Your internal clock was correct, as the lights in the hallways had also been dimmed, casting ethereal shadows along the beige birch wooden floor. Toriel must be sleeping, which gave you a small opportunity to explore without her hovering like a mother goose. You didn’t blame her for the concern, considering the frightening state of your soul, but you still wanted some time alone. Feet pattering lightly as you roamed the quiet house, you examined everything you could. A small table with buttercups planted in elegant vases, a mirror at the end of the hallway, a room under renovation, and a mysterious staircase were documented in your head. Deciding to save the staircase for last, you fled to the other side of the house. You found yourself in a comfy living room, where there was a large armchair that you knew would swallow you whole if you sat in it. Toriel also had a bookcase situated next to a fireplace that surprisingly had no ash. Either Toriel was very clean, or there was something else at play here. The living room itself smelled distinctly of firewood, so there was no way she didn’t use it. You also found a large dining room table with several chairs too big for you, a kitchen that had the butterscotch cinnamon pie from earlier waiting on the stovetop, and a fridge filled with various ingredients you’d never seen before. You didn’t know much about cooking, but you were sure snails weren't common on many menus.</p><p> </p><p>Overall, the house was very normal. You actually wished you’d grown up in an environment like this with a mother like Toriel. Maybe you’d have baked pastries together on the weekends while she told you stories from her childhood. Or, better yet, maybe she’d let you read her books. Most of them had to do with baking based on the titles you’d read on the aged spines, but surely a cookbook would be more interesting than anything medical your dad forced you to choke down.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe she’d teach you how to knit and brush your hair. Maybe she’d take you for walks and let you make friends. Maybe she’d be proud of your hard work at school and let you ramble on about the stars supportively. Maybe she’d give you a hug when you were sad, or even wipe your tears when you cried.</p><p> </p><p>...Maybe she’d say she loved you...</p><p> </p><p>And maybe she’d mean it, too.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Exiting the living room with a newfound ache in your soul, you leaned against a wall in the main entrance area. The unexplainable lighting from outside cast rays of warm golden light on the staircase you had yet to explore. You found yourself drawn to the depths, running your dainty hands along the dusty railings. Little dust particles fluttered in the air like starlight as you tiptoed down, careful not to make any noise that would awaken Toriel. Something told you she wouldn’t want you coming down here without her knowledge.</p><p> </p><p>The yellow of her house faded into the familiar lavender of the ruins, walls bare of wallpaper revealing the purple brick underneath. It was very chilly down here, and the hallway itself was much longer than you expected. There were no rooms, just a long, vacant hallway. The farther you walked, the colder it got. You found yourself gripping your arms for warmth, gawking at the sight of yet another grand set of double doors. Gold trim lined the royal purple it adorned, and just grazing your fingertips across the surface told you that whatever was on the other side must be freezing. Curious about testing the material, unsure whether the door was made of wood or stone, you knocked softly with your reddened knuckles.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Knock, knock.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>The gritty, low vibration echoed pleasingly through the small area. It must be stone.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>......</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“who’s there?”</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>Letting out an undignified screech, you tumbled backwards onto your back, quickly losing your footing in a desperate attempt to flee from the disembodied voice. Was it Flowey? No, it couldn’t have been. He was nowhere to be seen, and you were sure you’d be able to spot his yellow petals amidst the purple backdrop. His voice also wasn’t<em> nearly </em>that deep!</p><p> </p><p>“H-Huh? W-Where are you?”</p><p><em>“...huh where are you, who? y’know, i don’t think that’s how the joke goes.” </em>The voice responded from just outside the door. You scooted over and leaned on your side, letting your shoulder prop up against the stone. You splayed a hand across the surface, curiosity peaking.</p><p>“Are you out there?” Your voice was quiet, as if raising it any higher would scare the voice away.</p><p>
  <em>“if you mean behind the door, then yes. are you in there?”</em>
</p><p>“Yes, I suppose I am. What direction would you consider out versus in?”</p><p>
  <em>“whichever side leads indoors. with all this snow icey, i’d chance you’d be in.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Was… was that a pun? The door was freezing to the touch. It must be cold outside. A smirk creeped on your lips, and you quietly giggled with mirth. Two could play at that game.</p><p> </p><p>“If I didn’t snow any better, you’ve sled me to believe it’s pretty chilly out there.” The voice, which you reasoned to be a man’s, seemed unprepared for the punny response as he sputtered in confusion and barked out a laugh. You rested your cheek against the door to listen as he began pounding weakly on the other side with each laugh, sending vibrations into your skull. His laugh was so... <strong><em>warm.</em></strong> It reminded you of hot peppermint coffee in the middle of July, out of place yet full of spirit and personality. The deep bass was like a soothing balm on your broken soul, calming it significantly. You found yourself giggling along with him, pressing your face further against the stone. You think he did the same. His laugh sounded closer, nearly right beside your ear.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“y-you really got me there! i- heh heh heh- i wasn’t expecting another punner.”</em>
</p><p>“Glad to hear that somebody else punderstands.”</p><p>
  <em>“you’d better watch yourself. you’re messing with a master jokester here. now, onto more important things, who are you?”</em>
</p><p>“Who am<em> I? </em>Who are <em>you?”</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“i’m pretty sure i’ve never heard you before. unless you’re the lady who lives here and your voice got a lot softer, you’re new.”</em>
</p><p>“I am new. Actually, this is my first day down here.”</p><p>
  <em>“so you’re a human. ‘s what i thought. you got a name?”</em>
</p><p>“Of course I do, it’s-” You thought you heard the sound of footsteps from upstairs, so you smacked a hand over your mouth to silence yourself. The voice knocked on the door quietly, a concerned hum in his tone.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>“...still there? you got quiet all of a sudden.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Toriel’s footsteps eventually stopped, and when you were sure she had gone back to bed, you let out the breath you’d been holding.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I’m here. Sorry, it’s just that Toriel probably doesn’t want me down here.”</p><p>
  <em>“toriel? so that’s who she is. figures.”</em>
</p><p>“You’ve spoken to her before?”</p><p>
  <em>“yeah. do it all the time. she has some really funny jokes. might give you a run for your money, kid.”</em>
</p><p>“So you’ve talked on multiple occasions and you’ve never asked her name? Have you even seen each other before?” You could practically feel him grow sheepish. If you could see him, he’d probably be scratching at his head in embarrassment.</p><p>
  <em>“heh... you’ve got me there. never seen her in my life. ’s pretty complicated from what i’ve heard, but toriel won’t open this door. not for anybody.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>She won’t open the door? She must have her reasons, but that just seemed a little strange to you. Shutting out the world isn’t healthy. How long has she been living on her own? From the way she easily led you through the twisting Ruins, it’s probably been far too long. There was more to this story, and you stored this information for later.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“you really like thinkin’ to yourself, huh? got quiet again.”</em>
</p><p>“Sorry. It’s… It’s been a long day.”</p><p>
  <em>“speaking of that, you said you just got here. how’d you manage that?”</em>
</p><p>“I...” How much should you tell him? You definitely couldn’t tell him the circumstances. Even Toriel had no idea why you were here. Should you call it an accident? Bluff? There had to be a good way out of this. “...I fell.” <em>Seriously?</em> All the words in the English language and you choose <em>that?!</em> Well, it wasn’t necessarily a lie. You <em>did</em> fall.</p><p> </p><p><em>“...you fell.” </em>He seemed unimpressed.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Yes. Down a hole in the mountain.”</p><p> </p><p><em>“so you came up the mountain and fell down a hole. you’re not lying to me, but i know when someone’s dodging something important.” </em>You gulped, cursing at him for his intuition. Just what was with him? How could he read you so well?</p><p>“...Maybe if you got to know me, you’d find out.” You’d never tell him, but it was better than letting him pry.</p><p>
  <em>“i’ll hold you to that. isn’t it pretty late? why’re you awake?”</em>
</p><p>“You sure have a lot of questions.”</p><p><em>“what can i say. i’d be tellin’ a fibula if i said i wasn’t curious.” </em>Was that a bone pun? There’s no way this guy knew you were a doctor. You were missing something here, but you weren’t going to pass up the opportunity to show off your medical knowledge.</p><p> </p><p>“Tibia honest, I’m having trouble sleeping. You can’t be skull-king around this late at night for no reason either, mister.” He laughed, which brought a sleepy smile to your face.</p><p><em>“can’t sleep either, huh? guess that makes two of us. hey, i’ll patella you this. you ever have another bad dream, i'll be here to tell you some more boneafide rib-ticklers.” </em>You found yourself giggling again, much louder than intended. You tried to quiet yourself as much as possible to not wake Toriel up.</p><p>“I’ll hold you to that as well. Hey, it was nice meeting you, but I think we should both at least attempt to get some sleep.”</p><p>
  <em>“...guess you’re right.”</em>
</p><p>“And one more thing, please don’t tell Toriel about me. I don’t want her to know I snuck around her house without her permission, okay?”</p><p>
  <em>“‘m not good with promises, kid, but this one’s manageable. i’ll keep you a secret.”</em>
</p><p>“Thank you. You’re very kind.”</p><p>
  <em>“see ‘ya, mystery girl.”</em>
</p><p>“See you, mystery boy.”</p><p> </p><p>Scooting away, you smiled to yourself, sparing the towering stone door another glance before running down the hall on nimble feet. It wasn’t until you reached your room and tucked yourself into bed that you realized you’d forgotten to tell him your name.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>You slept much easier after talking with the mystery boy from outside. You wondered if you’d ever get to meet the guy, but based on what he told you about Toriel, that chance was becoming slimmer. Maybe if you could prove to her that you’d be perfectly safe on your own, she would let you go.</p><p> </p><p>...But did you really want to leave?</p><p> </p><p>You had everything here. This was the environment you’d dreamed of living in for so long. A place away from mom and dad... away from people’s harsh looks of judgement... away from the money and the hospital. You knew Toriel would have no problem letting you live here, possibly even until your death.</p><p> </p><p>That’s selfish.</p><p> </p><p>From where you laid in bed, you harshly slapped yourself across the face. It stung and surely left your cheek red, but that’s just what you deserved. Why would someone as lovely as Toriel want to take care of you? Sure, she said so herself, but you came up here with the intention of disappearing, not making friends. Friends would leave with time. They always did. If you were going to die, you had to do it alone. Being here was taking advantage of Toriel’s hospitality.</p><p> </p><p>You crept out of your room and looked for any trace of the goat woman. You found her sitting in the large armchair you’d found yesterday, a warm and almost comically shaped fire roaring in the fireplace at her side. She was reading a book, some very large reading glasses perched on her muzzle. She startled from the pages at your presence and gave you a motherly smile, beckoning you closer.</p><p> </p><p>“My child, how are you doing? You slept through dinner last night! If it’s alright with you, I finished it off because I wanted you to eat something fresh. Now that you’re awake, I can get started!”</p><p>“That’s very sweet of you. Thank you for thinking of me. Um... if it’s alright with you, could I go explore the Ruins a bit while you’re cooking?” She looked hesitant, and you could tell she wanted to say no. Regardless, she cleared her throat and forced herself to nod, though you didn’t miss the bead of sweat running down her forehead.</p><p>“Dear, please be safe out there. Your SOUL still worries me, but I cannot keep you here against your wishes. You are an adult after all.”</p><p>“Thank you. I promise everything will be fine. I’ll be back very soon, alright?”</p><p>“Yes, yes. Please, return safely. Do not hesitate to come back if you feel threatened.”</p><p> </p><p>With that, you waved to her, opening the door to the lavender world outside. You looked around, still entranced and slightly unbelieving of the Ruins. It was hard to believe that any of this was real, yet here you were. You could smell the pastries in the air from Toriel’s home, you could feel the cool, unexplainable breeze on your neck, you could clearly see that you were inside a cave. It was real and this was your reality from now on. There was still so much you didn’t understand about the Underground, and you hoped that a walk outside would help you sort out which questions were okay to ask and which should be left alone.</p><p> </p><p>Speaking of the devil, one of those questions sat in the front yard amidst the leaves. The golden star.</p><p> </p><p>The star still unnerved you. It twinkled without reason, dancing like a child who just found out they were getting a puppy for Christmas. Your curiosity got the best of you. Was this the same star as before? Surely there couldn’t be more than one. Against your better judgement, you approached the star again, reaching out to touch it. Your fingers just barely grazed the freezing surface…</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>*Ping!</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>*You have no DETERMINATION.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>  </strong>
</p><p>The same feeling from yesterday. Dread. It spoke to you, yet it didn’t make a sound.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean? Why don’t I have any determination?”</p><p> </p><p>You touched it again, with the intention of knowing more.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>*Ping!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>*Your SOUL is PATIENCE.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>  </strong>
</p><p>You stumbled back, holding your hand. It… responded. Maybe it was all about intention? Just like the star seemed to be communicating with energy to make you feel like you’d understood them, maybe you had to send the energy back.</p><p> </p><p>You touched it again. Is there more to it?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>*Ping!</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>*Your SOUL is damaged.</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>  </strong>
</p><p>Damaged. The star was right. You had a crack running through your soul, clear as day. Why was it damaged? Was determination another soul trait? How was it able to know so much about you? It couldn’t see your soul, as it hadn’t pulled you into an encounter, so what was the deal? The answers were clear, yet none of them were direct. You wanted to know exactly what was going on here, but it seemed that the star liked playing games with you.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine! If you’re not going to help me, then I’ll be on my way.”</p><p> </p><p>You huffed at the star, turning away pointedly with a spin of your heel. If it was going to be difficult, then it was getting the silent treatment from you! You were never one to yell, let alone raise your voice for any reason whatsoever, so your poor attempt at a scolding sounded more like a mouse squeaking angrily. You marched past the black tree and stood at the intersection, flipping a mental coin as to which direction to take.</p><p> </p><p>Tails. Left it is.</p><p> </p><p>You turned down the corridor, skidding to a stop when you saw a monster sitting quietly in the corner. It looked like a small white frog wearing a blanket. Or was that a cape? You thought you saw a pair of eyes blinking at you from underneath the cloth, so was the actual monster hiding underneath? Or maybe they were two monsters instead of one?</p><p> </p><p>You didn’t want to be impolite, so you waved to it. It hopped over to you, watching you curiously.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello. My name is (Y/N). Who are you?”</p><p> </p><p>The frog blinked up at you. It was hard to gauge their expressions. Maybe they didn’t like your height difference? You’d be intimidated too if someone nearly four feet taller than you suddenly waltzed in like nothing. Crouching down on your knees, you smiled respectfully. It seemed pleased by your patience. You could easily wait for it to gain the courage to speak, if it even could.</p><p> </p><p>“...You came in with Toriel yesterday.”</p><p>“Yes, I did. I am new here.”</p><p>“...I saw her come in with groceries this morning.”</p><p>“Is that so? She’s inside her home cooking at the moment.”</p><p> </p><p>The frog took a minute to process your words. You continued to wait, very interested in the conversation. It wasn’t often you got to meet someone new that actually wanted to speak to you too.</p><p> </p><p>“...You’re very PATIENT.” They croaked. Definitely very frog-like.</p><p>“It’s just in my nature. I hope it’s not a negative quality.” Your tone softened, more than it usually was. The monster seemed to appreciate the gentleness of your voice.</p><p>“Certainly not. It’s nice... to have someone listen...”</p><p>“I know the feeling. I get talked over all the time.”</p><p>“...Why do they ignore you?”</p><p>“Because I’ve been told frequently that my opinions are invalid. It doesn’t have to be that way for you, though. I will listen to you.”</p><p>“...I will listen to you.”</p><p>“You will?”</p><p>“...Certainly. You are... very PATIENT. My name... call me Froggit.”</p><p>“Froggit. It’s very nice to meet you.”</p><p>“...I am one of many. If you meet more of my kind... please offer them the same PATIENCE. They are not as... vocal.”</p><p>“I will. I am going to explore some more. If you need anything, feel free to stop me at any time.”</p><p>“...Yes... (Y/N)...”</p><p> </p><p>Feeling content inside, you leaned down to give the Froggit a kiss on the head. It was barely a brush of the lips, but it glowed bright red. You giggled softly and waved goodbye, heading towards the open doorway to your left.</p><p> </p><p>The last thing you expected was a balcony. The wind whipped through your hair as you crossed the purple floor in a rush to lean against the banister. You could see... <em>everything.</em> You had no idea how large the Underground was, but this sight was incredible. In the darkness of the cave, thousands of lights glowed like candles. The buildings were large and regal, reminding you of a castle rather than a city. It was as if an earthquake had buried a kingdom straight from the Victorian era. It brought tears to your eyes, and you took a step back, a shaky breath leaving you.</p><p> </p><p>To your left sat something... concerning. You took a careful step towards the item laying on the floor, nerves shaking up your spine.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A knife.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The sight of the knife brought back a painful memory. You had no way to tell whether or not the knife was real, but you didn’t want to get close enough to find out. Something like that shouldn’t be here. Not in this beautiful world you’ve found yourself in.</p><p> </p><p>Gathering your nerves, you briskly left the room, sparing Froggit a fake smile and a shaky wave as you left. You held your arms, looking down at your feet as you fled. It wasn’t a real knife. Knives glint in the light. They’re sharper, too. You’d know. It’s fake. It’s not real. It’s not real...</p><p> </p><p><em>...That,</em> however, <em>is real.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>You stood in front of a pile of leaves, which was stacked in between a narrow opening in the wall. Laying on the leaf pile itself was... a ghost? That was for sure a ghost. You took a step closer, and the ghost seemed to become more tangible. They looked like a cartoonish blanket type ghost rather than one you’d see in a movie. It wasn’t until you were leaning over them that you decided to speak up.</p><p> </p><p>“H-Hello...?”</p><p> </p><p>“Zzzzzzzzzz...zzzzzzzzz...zzzzzz...zzz?”</p><p> </p><p>The ghost was audibly making sleeping noises, probably to drive you away. Your nerves from before melted away slightly. What a cute little ghost.</p><p> </p><p>“I won’t force you to t-talk to me. Y-You don’t have to move, either. I just wanted to say h-hello.”</p><p> </p><p>“...” The ghost cracked an eye open. You offered a small wave, and you bit back tears as the familiar pain in your chest returned. You clutched at your shirt, stepping back, and with much more resistance than ever before, your soul was forced out into the open. You weren’t sure, but it looked like the cyan color had dimmed further since the last encounter you had with the dummy. The crack itself seemed relatively the same, which was slightly relieving.</p><p> </p><p>“O-Oh... I h-had no idea. I-I’m so... I’m sorry... oh no....” The ghost trembled, tears falling from their eyes. You wanted to assure them that you were fine, but you found yourself having to physically dodge the tears. It seemed you’d found yourself in a real encounter. You’d have to push through it. Bending your body around, your soul followed your every action. Physical attacks to your body probably wouldn’t have as much damage as a blow to your soul, so you tried to keep it out of harm’s way.</p><p> </p><p>The tears stopped, and you decided to try speaking like Toriel said.</p><p> </p><p>“D-Don’t worry about it! You’re fine! You did nothing wrong.”</p><p>“I... I didn’t...? But your SOUL...”</p><p>“It wasn’t y-you! H-Hahh... hahh... It’s me... I’m the... haah... issue...” It was getting harder to breathe, and your knees trembled. You thought you’d fall over and just die, but the ghost quickly ended the encounter and spared your life before it could happen. Your soul slammed into your chest, and you collapsed on the spot, falling into the pile of leaves. The ghost leaned over your sweaty body, obviously fretting.</p><p> </p><p>“O-Oh dear... you’re not okay... I’ll just... l-leave you alone.”</p><p>“N-No... you can stay. It wasn’t you. It’s... me.”</p><p>“You’ll really let me... stay with you?”</p><p>“Of course. You were here first. Just... just give me a moment to catch my breath...”</p><p> </p><p>The ghost laid down beside you, which made you smile. They were silent for a few minutes, listening to your shaky breaths.</p><p> </p><p>“...My name is Napstablook...”</p><p>“You have a lovely name. My name is (Y/N).”</p><p>“(Y/N)...” Napstablook tested your name, smiling in return. “You have a nice name... too.”</p><p> </p><p>Silence. It was very peaceful. It seemed that the two of you weren’t so different. They were just very shy.</p><p> </p><p>“...Sometimes, when I’m sad... I like to lay on the ground and feel like garbage...”</p><p>“That sounds fun.”</p><p>“Do you want to lay here with me?”</p><p>“Yes. I’d like that.”</p><p> </p><p>You turned onto your back, staring up at the ceiling. Monsters were the nicest people you’d ever met. Flowey, Toriel, the mystery boy from the outside, Froggit, and now Napstablook? You met more people in two days than in the last ten years alone. Your mom would be throwing a tantrum if she were here... but she wasn’t. Nobody was.</p><p> </p><p>You didn’t know how long you laid there, but time itself seemed to slow down. It was just what you needed, and whether minutes or hours passed, it didn’t matter to you.</p><p> </p><p>You had made a friend.</p>
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